03.31.08
Wow.
Brought to my attention by titania_le_fey (language probably NSFW):
Another Poem
So, all this work with my Deep Self/Sticky One has given me another poem:
The Pea
She is buried.
Pressed by the weight of muffling mattresses,
Small and insistent, the knot in my neck come morning,
Dreams of half-eaten marzipan passions
Lying dormant under strata of excuses
She is buried, alive.
Is that all that is left, a tiny seed of wild life poking into my slumber?
Don’t give up, little one.
I’ll remember I’m a princess.
03.28.08
Hey Pittsburghers: Monday is Pgh Blog for Equality Day
Via The Pittsburgh Women’s Blogging Society:
Please join in to speak out against this amendment.
Question For The Magical Folks
I am doing gender and self-image work: are there any Gods/Goddesses you would recommend creating a relationship with for this sort of work? I am specifically doing work around having gender be more fluid within myself, and not being so attached to common gender constructs.
Thanks in advance!
Good Things
- going to see the Hotel Cafe Tour at Mr. Smalls last night with Victorria
- getting to hang out with Vic- I don’t get to see her enough
- the smell of myrrh incense
- Liz and Tex, arriving tonight!
- the feel of my bare feet on the floor
- the clicking of the puppy’s tiny nails on the hardwood floor
03.27.08
Male Privilege
List taken from: http://www.amptoons.com/blog/the-male-privilege-checklist/
1. My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applicants, are probably skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger the odds are skewed.
No.
2. I can be confident that my co-workers won’t think I got my job because of my sex - even though that might be true. (More).
No.
3. If I am never promoted, it’s not because of my sex.
I can never be sure of that, so No.
4. If I fail in my job or career, I can feel sure this won’t be seen as a black mark against my entire sex’s capabilities.
No.
5. I am far less likely to face sexual harassment at work than my female co-workers are. (More).
No.
6. If I do the same task as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective, chances are people will think I did a better job.
No.
7. If I’m a teen or adult, and if I can stay out of prison, my odds of being raped are relatively low. (More).
Sadly, No.
8. On average, I am taught to fear walking alone after dark in average public spaces much less than my female counterparts are.
No.
9. If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into question.
No.
10. If I have children but do not provide primary care for them, my masculinity will not be called into question.
No.
11. If I have children and provide primary care for them, I’ll be praised for extraordinary parenting if I’m even marginally competent. (More).
No.
12. If I have children and a career, no one will think I’m selfish for not staying at home.
No.
13. If I seek political office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire to take care of them, will probably not be scrutinized by the press.
No.
14. My elected representatives are mostly people of my own sex. The more prestigious and powerful the elected position, the more this is true.
No.
15. When I ask to see “the person in charge,” odds are I will face a person of my own sex. The higher-up in the organization the person is, the surer I can be.
No.
16. As a child, chances are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters. (More).
Definitely No.
17. As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children’s media featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male protagonists were (and are) the default.
No, though I think this is changing.
18. As a child, chances are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised their hands just as often. (More).
No.
19. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether or not it has sexist overtones.
No.
20. I can turn on the television or glance at the front page of the newspaper and see people of my own sex widely represented, every day, without exception.
Yes.
21. If I’m careless with my financial affairs it won’t be attributed to my sex.
No.
22. If I’m careless with my driving it won’t be attributed to my sex.
No.
23. I can speak in public to a large group without putting my sex on trial.
No.
24. Even if I sleep with a lot of women, there is no chance that I will be seriously labeled a “slut,” nor is there any male counterpart to “slut-bashing.” (More).
No.
25. I do not have to worry about the message my wardrobe sends about my sexual availability or my gender conformity. (More).
No.
26. My clothing is typically less expensive and better-constructed than women’s clothing for the same social status. While I have fewer options, my clothes will probably fit better than a woman’s without tailoring. (More).
No (this is so true and I never thought of it!!!)
27. The grooming regimen expected of me is relatively cheap and consumes little time. (More).
No.
28. If I buy a new car, chances are I’ll be offered a better price than a woman buying the same car. (More).
No.
29. If I’m not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore.
No.
30. I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being called a bitch.
No (I am so aware of this)
31. I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called “crime” and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually called “domestic violence” or “acquaintance rape,” and is seen as a special interest issue.)
No.
32. I can be confident that the ordinary language of day-to-day existence will always include my sex. “All men are created equal,” mailman, chairman, freshman, he.
No.
33. My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is.
No.
34. I will never be expected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if I don’t change my name.
No.
35. The decision to hire me will never be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to have a family sometime soon.
No.
36. Every major religion in the world is led primarily by people of my own sex. Even God, in most major religions, is pictured as male.
No.
37. Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children should be subservient to me.
No.
38. If I have a wife or live-in girlfriend, chances are we’ll divide up household chores so that she does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetitive and unrewarding tasks. (More).
Chances are, no. My particular situation is very egalitarian.
39. If I have children with a wife or girlfriend, chances are she’ll do most of the childrearing, and in particular the most dirty, repetitive and unrewarding parts of childrearing.
No.
40. If I have children with a wife or girlfriend, and it turns out that one of us needs to make career sacrifices to raise the kids, chances are we’ll both assume the career sacrificed should be hers.
Chances are, No. My situation, it would depend wholly on who was making more money.
41. Magazines, billboards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of media is filled with images of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sexually. Such images of men exist, but are rarer.
No.
42. In general, I am under much less pressure to be thin than my female counterparts are. (More). If I am fat, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than fat women do. (More).
No.
43. If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover. (More).
No.
44. Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to “smile.” (More: 1 2).
No (and I get so pissed off when that happens)
45. On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men.
No.
46. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.
No.
Christian Privilege
These statements taken from http://pirate.shu.edu/~schlosle/cpexamples.htm, found at Alas, a blog.
1. It is likely that state and federal holidays coincide with my religious practices, thereby having little to no impact on my job and/or education.
No.
2. I can talk openly about my religious practices without concern for how it will be received by others.
No.
3. I can be sure to hear music on the radio and watch specials on television that celebrate the holidays of my religion.
No.
4. When told about the history of civilization, I am can be sure that I am shown people of my religion made it what it is.
No.
5. I can worry about religious privilege without being perceived as “self-interested” or “self-seeking.”
That’s a big no.
6. I can have a “Jesus is Lord” bumper sticker or Icthus (Christian Fish) on my car and not worry about someone vandalizing my car because of it.
Well, this question would make more sense if the bumper sticker was pagan….and if it was, the answer is No.
7. I can share my holiday greetings without being fully conscious of how it may impact those who do not celebrate the same holidays. Also, I can be sure that people are knowledgeable about the holidays of my religion and will greet me with the appropriate holiday greeting (e.g., Merry Christmas, Happy Easter, etc.).
No.
8. I can probably assume that there is a universality of religious experience.
No.
9. I can deny Christian Privilege by asserting that all religions are essentially the same.
No.
10. I probably do not need to learn the religious or spiritual customs of others, and I am likely not penalized for not knowing them.
No.
11. I am probably unencumbered by having to explain why I am or am not doing things related to my religious norms on a daily basis.
No.
12. I am likely not judged by the improper actions of others in my religious group.
Big No.
13. If I wish, I can usually or exclusively be among those from my religious group most of the time (in work, school, or at home).
Hah. No.
14. I can assume that my safety, or the safety of my family, will not be put in jeopardy by disclosing my religion to others at work or at school.
No.
15. It is likely that mass media represents my religion widely AND positively.
No.
16. It is likely that I can find items to buy that represent my religious norms and holidays with relative ease (e.g., food, decorations, greeting cards, etc.).
It’s getting easier, but generally No, I don’t find Beltane decorations and gifts at Giant Eagle foodstores.
17. I can speak or write about my religion, and even critique other religions, and have these perspectives listened to and published with relative ease and without much fear of reprisal.
No necessarily.
18. I could write an article on Christian Privilege without putting my own religion on trial.
No.
19. I can travel without others assuming that I put them at risk because of my religion; nor will my religion put me at risk from others when I travel.
Hmmm. I think the answer is No, but I don’t know if pagans are considered risky.
20. I can be financially successful without the assumption from others that this success is connected to my religion.
No.
21. I can protect myself (and my children) from people who may not like me (or them) based on my religion.
Not necessarily.
22. Law enforcement officials will likely assume I am a non-threatening person if my religion is disclosed to them. In fact, disclosure may actually help law enforcement officials perceive me as being “in the right” or “unbiased.”
Hah. No, and I’ve experienced this directly.
23. I can safely assume that any authority figure will generally be someone of my religion.
No.
24. I can talk about my religion, even proselytize, and be characterized as “sharing the word,” instead of imposing my ideas on others.
No.
25. I can be gentle and affirming to people without being characterized as an exception to my religion.
Hmmm, not sure about this one.
26. I am never asked to speak on behalf of all Christians.
I am often asked to speak for all Pagans.
27. My citizenship and immigration status will likely not be questioned, and my background will likely not be investigated, because of my religion.
Not sure.
28. My place of worship is probably not targeted for violence because of sentiment against my religion.
Not sure about this one either, though I am careful not to practice “out in the open”….so I guess the answer is No.
29. I can be sure that my religion will not work against me when seeking medical or legal help.
No.
30. My religion will not cause teachers to pigeonhole me into certain professions based of the assumed “prowess” of my religious group.
Not sure about this one.
31. I will not have my children taken from me from governmental authorities who are aware of my religious affiliation.
No.
32. Disclosure of my religion to an adoption agency will likely not prevent me from being able to adopt children.
No.
33. If I wish to give my children a parochial religious education, I probably have a variety of options nearby.
No.
34. I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence and importance of my religion.
No.
35. I can be sure that when someone in the media is referring to G-d, they are referring to my (Christian) G-d.
Nope.
36. I can easily find academic courses and institutions that give attention only to people of my religion.
No.
37. My religious holidays are so completely “normal” that, in many ways, they may appear to no longer have any religious significance at all.
No.
38. The elected and unelected officials of my government probably are members of my religious group.
No.
39. When swearing an oath, I am probably making this oath by placing my hand on the scripture of my religion.
No.
40. I can openly display my religious symbol(s) on my person or property without fear of disapproval, violence, and/or vandalism.
No.
White Privilege
snakey has been posting privilege lists, and I’m following his lead; I think it is valuable to sit down and examine these things. This particular list was found at Alas, a blog and taken from an article by Peggy McIntosh that I first read back in a college class that explored the sociological intersection of race, gender, and class.
1. I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time.
Yes.
2. I can avoid spending time with people whom I was trained to mistrust and who have learned to mistrust my kind or me.
Yes.
3. If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure of renting or purchasing housing in an area which I can afford and in which I would want to live.
Yes.
4. I can be pretty sure that my neighbors in such a location will be neutral or pleasant to me.
Yes.
5. I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed.
Yes.
6. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented.
Yes.
7. When I am told about our national heritage or about “civilization,” I am shown that people of my color made it what it is.
Yes.
8. I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of their race.
Yes.
9. If I want to, I can be pretty sure of finding a publisher for this piece on white privilege.
Yes, if I were publishing this paper.
10. I can be pretty sure of having my voice heard in a group in which I am the only member of my race.
Yes.
11. I can be casual about whether or not to listen to another person’s voice in a group in which s/he is the only member of his/her race.
Yes, and I am ashamed when I think of how many times in my life I haven’t been aware of this.
12. I can go into a music shop and count on finding the music of my race represented, into a supermarket and find the staple foods which fit with my cultural traditions, into a hairdresser’s shop and find someone who can cut my hair.
Yes.
13. Whether I use checks, credit cards or cash, I can count on my skin color not to work against the appearance of financial reliability.
Yes.
14. I can arrange to protect my children most of the time from people who might not like them.
Yes.
15. I do not have to educate my children to be aware of systemic racism for their own daily physical protection.
Yes.
16. I can be pretty sure that my children’s teachers and employers will tolerate them if they fit school and workplace norms; my chief worries about them do not concern others’ attitudes toward their race.
Yes.
17. I can talk with my mouth full and not have people put this down to my color.
Yes.
18. I can swear, or dress in second hand clothes, or not answer letters, without having people attribute these choices to the bad morals, the poverty or the illiteracy of my race.
Yes; I am very aware of this privilege as I grew up in a working class home.
19. I can speak in public to a powerful male group without putting my race on trial.
Yes.
20. I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race.
Yes.
21. I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group.
Yes.
22. I can remain oblivious of the language and customs of persons of color who constitute the world’s majority without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.
Yes, and this really saddens me.
23. I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as a cultural outsider.
Yes, and I am very aware of this privilege as I am constantly running my mouth about the government.
24. I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to the “person in charge”, I will be facing a person of my race.
Yes.
25. If a traffic cop pulls me over or if the IRS audits my tax return, I can be sure I haven’t been singled out because of my race.
Yes.
26. I can easily buy posters, post-cards, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys and children’s magazines featuring people of my race.
Yes.
27. I can go home from most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in, rather than isolated, out-of-place, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance or feared.
Yes.
28. I can be pretty sure that an argument with a colleague of another race is more likely to jeopardize her/his chances for advancement than to jeopardize mine.
Yes.
29. I can be pretty sure that if I argue for the promotion of a person of another race, or a program centering on race, this is not likely to cost me heavily within my present setting, even if my colleagues disagree with me.
Yes.
30. If I declare there is a racial issue at hand, or there isn’t a racial issue at hand, my race will lend me more credibility for either position than a person of color will have.
Yes.
31. I can choose to ignore developments in minority writing and minority activist programs, or disparage them, or learn from them, but in any case, I can find ways to be more or less protected from negative consequences of any of these choices.
Yes. I’m starting to feel some shame about how oblivious I am.
32. My culture gives me little fear about ignoring the perspectives and powers of people of other races.
Yes.
33. I am not made acutely aware that my shape, bearing or body odor will be taken as a reflection on my race.
Yes.
34. I can worry about racism without being seen as self-interested or self-seeking.
Yes.
35. I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having my co-workers on the job suspect that I got it because of my race.
Yes.
36. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it had racial overtones.
Yes.
37. I can be pretty sure of finding people who would be willing to talk with me and advise me about my next steps, professionally.
Yes.
38. I can think over many options, social, political, imaginative or professional, without asking whether a person of my race would be accepted or allowed to do what I want to do.
Yes.
39. I can be late to a meeting without having the lateness reflect on my race.
Yes.
40. I can choose public accommodation without fearing that people of my race cannot get in or will be mistreated in the places I have chosen.
Yes.
41. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help, my race will not work against me.
Yes.
42. I can arrange my activities so that I will never have to experience feelings of rejection owing to my race.
Yes.
43. If I have low credibility as a leader I can be sure that my race is not the problem.
Yes.
44. I can easily find academic courses and institutions which give attention only to people of my race.
Yes.
45. I can expect figurative language and imagery in all of the arts to testify to experiences of my race.
Yes.
46. I can chose blemish cover or bandages in “flesh” color and have them more or less match my skin.
Yes.
47. I can travel alone or with my spouse without expecting embarrassment or hostility in those who deal with us.
Yes.
48. I have no difficulty finding neighborhoods where people approve of our household.
Yes.
49. My children are given texts and classes which implicitly support our kind of family unit and do not turn them against my choice of domestic partnership.
I don’t have children, but if I did, the answer to this would be No.
50. I will feel welcomed and “normal” in the usual walks of public life, institutional and social.
Err, about half, owing to differences in domestic partnership choices and religion.
Morning Prayer
What meets you when you wake?
A breath, or a whimper at life
Beating hard at your breast?
May I breathe deeply today,
Wake each moment, put aside the whimpers
And get to the work of living.
Amen.
