12.27.08
Posted in The Casual Strumpet at 12:14 pm by Strumpet
Well, all of my previous dating prospects went south pretty quickly.
Half and Half: We went out twice, and there was a lot of joking and intellectual chemistry, and I was interested to see if there would be any physical chemistry…but then he just stopped calling/texting/emailing etc. I’m firmly planted in the I’m-Not-Chasing-You camp, so after sending him one text and chatting with him briefly, I let it go. I guess neither of us were interested enough to make something happen.
Three Years Younger: Similar deal- we emailed back and forth, and then he just dropped off the face of the earth (before the holiday week, mind you.) Again, this is information that I wouldn’t have picked up before when I was all about chasing- it’s good to know early on that someone isn’t interested enough to continue a conversation.
the Golden Fleece: This situation was weird to begin with, but then got even more weird. I met him up at a local bar while I was out with friends, and I didn’t feel comfortable around him…oh, and he was smoking. Add to that an intuitive sense that he embellishes his tales about his job? No way. I don’t want to date someone that I don’t feel totally comfortable with and who I also suspect isn’t totally honest with me.
So what have we learned, folks?
1. DON’T CHASE. Do only your half of the work in getting to know someone, and see if s/he reciprocates. If s/he doesn’t call you back or write you back or ask you out, s/he isn’t trapped under a bus waiting to be rescued by your phone call- S/HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTERESTED. (Specifically, ladies out there who are always making excuses for some guy who isn’t doing his half of the relationship work- take a couple steps back in the beginning and see if he responds by taking a couple steps forward. This is one of the most important lessons I’ve learned this year- it might save you a lot of future heartbreak.)
2. The first few dates are vital for picking up information; if you listen long enough, a person will tell you everything you need to know. This is not the time to brush off things that you don’t like and make excuses- pay attention and actually see/get to know the person you are entertaining as a potential partner instead of spinning off into a fantasy about who you want that person to be. Do you like the person in question right now without any major changes? If not, let it go now instead of 4 years from now.
3. Trust your gut. If something feels off, it’s probably off, and it’s better to be safe than sorry. (I can’t emphasize this enough after dating Shady el Doucherino.)
I’m actually internalizing these new attitudes, and they are helping me out a lot. For instance, last week I had a totally hot makeout session with my friend’s roommate. He and I had been flirting for a week or two, and I wasn’t sure that anything was going to happen, but whoa, it did. Am I all giggly-excited, expecting future dates and couch-cuddling and movies? Not so much. I don’t really know this guy at all, and even though we have killer chemistry, I need to wait to get more information- about him, about how I feel about what happened, etc. I’m not going to rush in and force his hand- I’m not in any hurry. Why run full speed ahead toward someone I don’t even know? It’s really easy to trip and fall into a bad situation if one is moving too fast and not watching where they’re going.
One thing I can say for sure: I’m confident that my cards are good and by god, I’ve got the balls to play my hand. I intend to take the jackpot.
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12.22.08
Posted in The Casual Strumpet at 5:31 pm by Strumpet
I really want to go off on a long rant about online dating sites, but I won’t.
Instead, I will simply highlight, for those men out there who aren’t aware, that referring to ANY women as “dumb sluts” or ranting about how you want a “WOMAN, not a SILLY LITTLE GIRL” is a GIGANTIC FUCKING TURN-OFF TO ANY SERIOUS WOMAN LOOKING AT YOUR PROFILE. GIGANTIC. FUCKING. TURN-OFF.
Dude, you will never find an “adult relationship, with a quality, responsible girl who has her life together enough to get by, and be happy doing it, who loves to have fun at the same time…someone who is terribly intelligent, positive, thoughtful, sexy, kind, down to earth and patient” etc. if you are, at the same time, saying things like “there are so many dumb immature sluts” out there and referring to yourself as “Captain Save-a-Ho.”
Dude, you show yourself to be the same sort of loser that you profess to attract. That is the reason that quality women won’t go out with you, dumbshit!
Sigh.
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12.18.08
Posted in Humor, Pittsburgh at 3:07 pm by Strumpet
Maggie’s in Oakland is selling Reiki-infused water. I have proof:
click the link and behold the wonder
The water in question didn’t advertise on its label that it was particularly Reiki-infused, so I wonder if they supply the Reiki-infusion right at Maggie’s…like you walk up to the counter with your bottle of water and the resident Reiki master goes to work right there.
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12.09.08
Posted in The Casual Strumpet at 11:37 am by Strumpet
A few nights ago, I had an interesting idea: what would happen if I used toasterstrumpet.com thoroughly document my casual dating experiences? My bumblings through the mating dance seem to interest my readers, and if I can’t laugh at this fantastic, freewheeling time in my life, what else will I do? So yes, I am going to chronicle the weird and wonderful world that is Strumpet Dating.
Here’s the current lineup:
Half and Half: He’s half Irish, half Jewish, and full-on sarcastic/witty/intelligent. We’re set to go out on our second date-ish thing this Thursday (a nice, casual lunch.) Thus far, no warning signs.
Three Years Younger: Witty, sarcastic, scarily similar to me. We’re still in the “chatting” stage, though questions about dating have been thrown around. I’m not sure how I feel about the age difference- I’ve never dated a guy that was more than one year younger than me. I’m open but wary.
the Golden Fleece: This guy appears to be really interesting, goofily funny and generally my sort of person- we had a long conversation about Godzilla versus robots (this has to be the third or fourth time I’ve discussed this with a man- does this happen to anyone else???) The serious warning light goes on: he has a 5 month old daughter with his ex-girlfriend. This doesn’t automatically throw him out of the dating pool (I’m seeing him on Friday for coffee) but I’m definitely wary. I know enough about baby momma drama to know that this guy potentially has a harpy attached to him for the next 18 years.
I hope you are gleefully looking forward to future installments of The Casual Strumpet, where you just might learn important life lessons, crucial evasion maneuvers and all important hygiene tips.
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12.07.08
Posted in The Casual Strumpet at 1:09 pm by Strumpet
Chach
Definition: Noun-A person (usually male)who attempts to exhibit a cool and popular look but generally comes across as either an asshole and/or a total loser. Plural: chachs, chaches. (from Urban Dictionary)
I’ve been told by my BFFF (that’s Best Fucking Friend Forever, bitches!) that I am not allowed future dalliances with men of the chach variety. I am cut off. After publicly shaming me for spending time with Mr. Shady el Doucherino, she decided to lay down the law and cut me off.
…and she’s right. I need to stop dumpster diving. *sigh* Am I the really only person who likes to purposefully date inappropriate males so as to not get attached?
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12.01.08
Posted in Personal, The Casual Strumpet at 1:10 am by Strumpet
Well, my lovelies, I must say that dating is both fantastically horrific and fascinating…much like the proverbial train wreck. Sadly (funnily?) my train wrecks often involve running over the drunken and mentally incompetent who have the vulgar misfortune of passing out on the tracks.
Tonight’s snack? Sorta Famous Guy, in Pittsburgh to do a show or two. Had dinner, interesting conversation, and get this: he felt it necessary to pull out his wang when we were having a bit of the ol’ makey outey in the car. I had already told him I wasn’t coming up to his room because I’m not That Kind of Girl (which yeah, is sort of a lie, but I’m not That Kind of Girl for a random Somewhat Celebrity, thankyouverymuch.) He still felt the need to try to kick it up a notch and attempt to get a BJ in my vehicle. It was a no-go, and he left frustrated while I left looking like the cat who got the canary.
Whatever quality I have that makes men think I’m an easy mark must be the same quality that masks my shrewd, cold heart. Bwhahahaha!
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