01.17.09
The Casual Strumpet: Creepy!
In the world of online dating, women get many types of messages. A message from a potential online suitor can be witty, dull, full of grammatical errors, a generic message sent to many individuals at once, etc.
But every once in a while, a truly creepy message appears. I received the following yesterday:
How are you ?
I am cold and lonely.
Please help !
My flesh needs your flesh.
I want to sleep next to you at night and spend my days with you.
He definitely has a place in the greeting card business, no?
I am tempted to send him the haiku I created out of his message:
I am cold, lonely-
Please help! My flesh needs your flesh.
Want to wear your skin.
01.16.09
The Casual Strumpet: Lookin’ in the mirror don’t do it for me. Seriously.
I’m currently pondering something I’ve noticed while dating in the ‘burgh: people who are looking to find someone who is extremely similar to them. I’m not talking about compatible, I’m talking the “I have a checklist of personality criteria, and I’d like you to share at least 90% of your personality traits with me” sort of similarity.
I went out on one (and only one) date with a man we’ll call Narcissus. He told me his personal philosophy: that the whole world is a reflection of self, and therefore he is looking for someone who is similar enough to him that it won’t disturb that reflection. Hmmm. Interesting idea, and I can totally embrace it in a theoretical sense (for those of you familiar with the Diana’s Grove philosophy of the Four Levels of Reality, you can probably see how his theory could be a healthy way of looking at the world) I think it gets a little messed up in the “and thus my partner should be a still, non-rippling reflection of me” part.
The other night, I was talking with a guy who seemed really normal and, well, awesome, until I told him that I wasn’t really interested in watching sports on TV. He then made an off-hand comment that said lack of interest is probably the reason I have a hard time dating. For some reason, this statement stuck with me: so in order to date, I need to like watching sports because most men like sports? Wait- that’s all I have to do? Pretend to like things I don’t like? Forget being honest about being bored to tears by sports? That’s the point at which all dating issues will go away? Ah-ha, thanks wonderboy for figuring that out for me! *rolls eyes*
What happened to wanting to get to know someone that’s compatible but not the same? What happened to appreciating, no, celebrating differences? I want someone who brings interesting, new, unknown stuff into a relationship- I don’t want to date ME. I already spend 24/7 with Ms. Strumpet, thank you very much, and I don’t think we need another Strumpet walking the earth, spreading chaos and disorder. I don’t want to find another me to hang out with- forgive my language, but how fucking boring! I don’t mind a guy who likes watching sports! He should just go do it on his own time, while I go out for coffee or crochet or organize a pagan ritual.
Has anyone else out there on the dating front lines noticed this trend toward desiring a reflection of self?
