11.27.09
I need to remember this.
No matter how I turn it around in my head, it comes to this: if a person cares about a relationship, that person stays. The person who cares doesn’t give up so easily.
If a person gets angry, he or she can be angry and not abandon. He or she may need to step away to get a clear head, or to not say something hurtful or stupid… but the relationship is valued, so there isn’t a quality of physical or emotional abandonment to the retreat. The same thing goes for feeling hurt. Painful emotions aren’t a good enough excuse for checking out.
When I define love as an action-state, all of this is very clear. When I fall back into thinking love is merely a quality of mood, the view is murkier.
